The Missed Moments: Choosing Connection Over Escape

We’ve all been there: standing in an elevator, the silence heavy and awkward, so we do what feels natural—reach for our phones, swipe through emails, or scroll aimlessly through social media. It’s an easy escape. That tiny screen offers instant refuge from the discomfort of being in close proximity to strangers without the pressure of engagement. But what are we really missing when we retreat into this habit?

In those fleeting moments—on an elevator, at a coffee shop, in line at the grocery store—we have countless opportunities for connection. Yet, we often choose isolation, defaulting to the distraction of our devices rather than engaging with the world around us. Sure, these interactions may not always be life-changing, but they are a vital part of being human. It’s about staying open to the possibility of connection, even when it feels uncomfortable or unnecessary.

Why We Retreat Into Our Phones

Let’s be honest—our phones are security blankets. They’re a quick fix to avoid the awkwardness of social situations or to fill a void when we don’t know what else to do. It’s easy to think, “Why make small talk with the stranger next to me when I could catch up on the latest Instagram posts?” And yes, sometimes it feels safer to hide in our own curated digital bubbles, away from the unpredictability of real human interaction.

But that safety comes at a cost. In avoiding discomfort, we also avoid presence. We disengage from the moment, from the people who share our space, and from the chance to experience something real, no matter how small or fleeting. We cut ourselves off from the unpredictable beauty of spontaneous connection—the kind that happens when you’re not hiding behind a screen.

The Power of Small Interactions

It’s easy to dismiss these quick encounters as meaningless, but they’re far from that. The brief “good morning” to a stranger, the shared laughter over a spilled coffee, the eye contact that says, “Hey, we’re both here, living this life”—these small moments matter. They remind us that we’re not just solitary figures moving through the world on our own private paths, but part of something bigger—a shared human experience.

We are wired for connection, and that’s not just about deep conversations or long-term relationships. It’s also about those fleeting moments of recognition between two people. These moments help ground us, make us feel seen, and remind us that we’re all in this together, even in the smallest ways.

Think about the last time someone made casual conversation with you while you were waiting in line. Maybe they complimented your shoes, or commented on the weather, or asked how your day was going. It might not have led to anything significant, but didn’t it feel good to be acknowledged? Didn’t it make you feel just a little more alive in that moment? That’s the power of social engagement—no matter how brief, it can lift us out of our bubbles and remind us that we’re not alone in this world.

Choosing to Engage

So, what if we made a conscious choice to engage more often? What if, instead of pulling out our phones the second we feel awkward, we leaned into the discomfort? What if we allowed ourselves to be present in those spaces—the elevator, the waiting room, the park bench—without escaping into our screens?

I’m not saying you need to start deep conversations with everyone you meet. It’s not about forcing interaction; it’s about remaining open to it. It’s about being present enough to notice the world around you, to smile at the person next to you, to say “hello” when the moment feels right.

It’s also about giving yourself permission to be uncomfortable. Yes, social interactions can be awkward. Yes, sometimes it’s easier to scroll through TikTok than to make eye contact with the stranger standing next to you. But when we constantly avoid discomfort, we also avoid growth. We miss out on the chance to connect, even in the smallest ways.

Creating Connection in a Disconnected World

We live in a world where disconnection is easier than ever. It’s effortless to tune out, to scroll through endless feeds, to focus on the curated world of our devices rather than the real, messy, beautiful world in front of us. But what happens when we step out of that pattern? What happens when we choose connection over avoidance?

You never know where these moments can lead. A brief conversation in an elevator could brighten your day. A shared laugh with a stranger could lift the heaviness of a long week. Or maybe, nothing significant will come from it at all—except the reminder that you are part of something bigger, that you are not alone in the quiet spaces of your day.

Presence Over Escape

We often forget that life is happening in these in-between moments, the ones we tend to gloss over. We think connection only happens in planned, structured social situations, but real connection is everywhere—it’s in the random conversations with strangers, the shared smiles, the small talk. It’s in the willingness to look up from our screens and acknowledge the humanity around us.

So next time you find yourself in an elevator or standing in line, resist the urge to escape into your phone. Take a breath, be present, and maybe—even just once—engage. Say “hi” to the person next to you. Comment on the weather, compliment their shoes, share a smile. You might just be surprised by how much it matters.